What a busy weekend this was with my mother and sister in law staying for a couple of days. Christine and I very much enjoyed this visit and it really was a pity that they had to go back again so soon. But there it is. Back to "normal" life again. Today life really became back to "normal".
Someone knocked on our door this morning. I was a bit surprised because we've had a lot of snowfall last night and you'd have to plough through at least half a metre of snow on foot to reach our house, along a steep uphill entry road of more than 100m long. Not the sort of thing someone would endeavour unless it was absolutely necessary. So I opened the door, curious about who it might be. To my horror it was... the Nasty Little Man. He wanted to know when we'd pay him. I was a bit in shock and luckily Christine immediately came down and took over from me. There was a brief discussion about the origin of the water in our walls. According to him the water now comes from the top of the entry road because from there the slope goes a bit downhill again towards our house. And on the sides there are still a couple of holes from the unfinished ground works which according to him accumulate the water and send it to our house. Christine asked him why the water is not in our kitchen then. Obviously no reply. The Nasty Little Man even said that the drainage behind the house had become obsolete since we've had the wall constructed to stop the hill behind our house from crumbling down. Yes, you read it right: "obsolete". Nonetheless we've had to pay thousands for these drainage works and the Big Bad Wolf still wrote in his letter to court that he had drainage works done around the entire house "to the benefit of the entire structure". This means that he, our so-called "expert geometer" had us pay thousands for "obsolete" drainage works and then afterwards told us we'd need to have a wall built behind the house - yet another five thousand - to stop the hill from falling down. Oh yes, this'll look nice in court! Definitely it will!
Sadly... I can't take it anymore. Last time when the Big Bad Wolf and his Nasty Little Creep paid us a visit to inspect the damage, I already had to hide behind Christine's (very slim) back because I couldn't face those two bastards anymore. I was a total gonner for three days, trembling and totally in shock. I've got a feeling that after today it will not be very different. I can still get my thoughts together and hence I'm still capable of writing this blog post. But at times it feels as if a knife is cutting straight through my heart. My head starts spinning and all I can think of is escape. Escape to a place where noone can ever find me. Especially those irritating voices in my head. They're driving me insane and I wish so hard that I could shut them up forever. Why can't I just leave it be? Why does such a small event, an event that once again clearly demonstrates that we were in the right from the beginning and that we shouldn't pay that ghastly man the rest of his money until all problems with our house have been solved, have such an impact on me? It's even more surprising because especially my former colleagues will remember that I could be very ad rem and assertive during the meetings when I had to defend the interests of my clients. Sometimes even a bit too much... Without the slightest blink of an eye I could tell directors and even state-secretaries what I thought of them. And now, I can't even look a stupid, incompetent builder in the eye anymore. It makes me realise that what I did at work was only a front. A very good acting game, perhaps even worthy an Oscar. It was the enormous firewall that I constructed around me in order to protect my true inner self from the outside world. A true inner self that noone must ever discover. Today, it feels like this firewall has been torn down completely. I can't pretend anymore. All that's left is a shy little boy that just wants to be left in peace. Autism has caught up with me at last. I just have to accept it. Fortunately, Christine won't have me any other way. She's so sweet... I love her so much for that. And at least she takes my defense whenever necessary, like today. I can't thank her enough... She really makes me happy. When I got to know her, it was the first time in my entire life that I enjoyed true happiness. And it's still lasting, strong as ever... :-)
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