Someone else's fault - 03 Aug 2010

Today I'd like to elaborate on the Builders' Disease. This is a cerebral malfunction of unknown origin that affects roughly 90% of all people in some way employed in the building industry.

The Builders' Disease reveals itself in two forms which are quickly interchangeable:

1. The "The next guy will fix it" Syndrome

For example; imagine a building structure with a concrete foundation. On this concrete foundation, someone will put an insulation paste consisting of cement and polysterene grains. This person will put a layer that is way too thick. When confronted with the error, the person will answer: "The guys from the floor heating will scrape it off".

When the guys from the floor heating come, they'll draw your attention to the fact that the insulation has been laid too thickly. But in stead of fixing the problem, they'll tell you: "The guys from the sub-floor will fix it".

When the guys from the sub-floor come, they'll again explain that the insulation plus floor heating have been laid too high. These guys are a bit more advanced. Meaning that they'll try to negotiate first. In a sense like... "Now if you put your floor tiles a bit higher... Allright, you'd have an edge at the doors... But then everything would be straight and level..." When you then point out that you will not have an edge at the doors and that all of the outside doors have already been made at the appropriate hight, waiting to be installed, they'll reply: "We'll see what we can do". Meaning that they lay'll the sub-floor level and leave you with a sub-floor depth at the doors of... only 5mm. Upon which they'll say: "The guy who'll lay the tiles will fix it".

But when the guy from the tiles eventually arrives, he's facing an impossible job. The tiles are 20mm thick (real, hand-made terracotta). Plus at least 2mm of glue. You're getting the picture? If nothing's done, the tiles will stick out so much at the doorstep that someone may easily trip over them.

Solution: We can scrape off 17mm of the sub-floor with a grinding disc.

Result: Buckets full of dust. And my lungs full with dust too. But at least the door opens. Barely.


2. The "Someone else's fault" Syndrome

For example; imagine you want to order new windows. You have to do it well in advance because obviously all the firms are very busy. In January they're coming to measure the window frames, between the external window sills and the concrete beam above the window. They're professionals who are obviously aware that there's something called "plastering", allright? So far so good.

Oh, did I tell you that they're very busy? Only 7 months later they finally come to place the windows. Hurray! But... Uh oh... There's been a slight misunderstanding. The windows won't fit. In most of the rooms they manage to cut off just enough from the upper and lower edge so the windows barely fit. But in our bathroom and bedroom... they won't. The window is simply too large. Then you'll invariably get the following statement: "This is not my fault but it's the builder who went in the wrong. He must have lowered the upper beam. And look! The carpenter didn't do a very good job at installing the inner sills either because they're sticking out at least 5mm! (editor's note: it's only 2mm...)". If you then ask what they're going to do about it, they'll tell you: "You have to get in touch with your builder and he'll have to chop off the plastering and some of the concrete on top. When that's done, we'll come back to install these last 4 windows." At this point there is no more arguing because they'll deny every responsibility.

Fortunately, they still had to come back the next day to finish some of the other work. So I started chopping off the plastering on the upper part of the bathroom window. It broke my heart because I had to destroy a work that was so beautifully done. But... o surprise... Christine immediately recognised the original concrete beam sitting right under 15mm of plasterwork. This beam was already there from the moment the house was built more than 60 years ago. And we showed it to the windows man. When he saw it, he became all red and his lower jaw nearly hit the ground. But he quickly composed himself. At this point, it depends how far the Builders' Disease has already developed. In this case, it had reached the terminal stage.

- "See!?", he exclaimed, "Didn't I tell you?"
- "Tell us what?", we replied.
- "I did measure it correctly! Look, I even have 5mm of headroom!"
- "Hold it... hold it... And what about the plastering? You didn't think we were going to let that ugly concrete beam exposed, did you?"
- "But look, even with a normal layer of plastering, I still have enough room. They've just laid it too thickly!"

And so on and so forth. Even if you point out that the windows have a cuttable edge of at least 3cm both on top and below, the man will still state that this edge has to be cut off anyway (it only serves if you place the windows on the outside so it will cover the hole on the sides) and that he only has 5mm he can play with. 5mm he already lost because of the carpenter...

Solution: We can chop off the beautiful plastering on the upper part of the window opening and try to put a new (and thinner) layer of plastering ourselves after the window's in place.

Result: Buckets full of plaster and dust, an ugly concrete beam exposed and serious doubt whether any plaster can still be put up there with the windows still opening.

Well, in the mean time we were up for a surprise. I had already chopped off all of the plaster in the bathroom. And when we came back to our house this morning, the window was in place! Not only that, when I opened it, I noticed that I had 30mm (!) of space between the window and the concrete beam. In one word, I had chopped off the plastering for nothing! So for the other 3 windows I merely copped off a slit in which he can slide the window edge. And if he still dares to make one single complaint... Grrrr!!!