Hello!!! Welcome to my new blog! :-) For those of you who're still visiting me on my personal website (whyamime.com), I'd like to advise you to visit me on
because whyamime.com will be closed soon.
Anyway... I know that I have been neglecting my blog a bit over the past weeks. The reason is that things aren't going all that well. Even though we're now living in our own house and we're slowly constructing our new lives here. It feels as if the sword of Damocles his hanging right above our heads and that the last little threads that are still holding it are breaking off. The tension is rising. Debts are growing. Lawsuits are becoming bigger uncertainties. And both of us are feeling tired. Very tired indeed. Last week I started wondering whether it would not be better to just sell everything and try to find a smaller and less expensive house. I just can't cope with this financial pressure anymore. And all that because of one man: Danilo. Yes, I know, I also lost a great deal of money by taking too many risks on the stock market. But if Danilo hadn't put us in this dire position in the first place, I would never have tried to find alternative ways to make a lot of money in a very short timeframe. When we were going through our documents in order to prepare the courtcase, we were shocked to find that the price we eventually had to pay for just the structural works was 67% (!) higher than Danilo's original estimate. The estimate which seemed pretty complete at the time and through which he lured us into this adventure because otherwise we would have looked for another house. Probably one with less work to be done and hence less money for him to be made. The things he "forgot" to mention... The wrong estimates he made... It's just incredible. And then they say: "But technically speaking everything's fine with your house, isn't it?" Yes. Technically speaking our house hasn't collapsed yet. And we won't know whether it is technically ok until it collapses. But what about "a person of trust"? "Transparency"? "Honesty"? These are all words which can be found throughout the official Code of Conduct for geometers. Don't they mean anything then?
So back to last week. Christine and I had a frank conversation about giving up and selling everything again. Some time ago I wrote about having reached the point where some of the people who share the same dream would give up and where we were still full of courage to continue. At that time I thought things couldn't get much worse. But they can. And now we are on the brink of giving up. Christine had to shed a few tears, mostly because of everything she has left behind. Her garden for starters. Although I'm sure that she exaggerates the good bits. Yes, our old house was lovely and the garden was just about to grow into its full splendour. But there were also a lot of bad times. And we've never really felt "at home" there. When things get bad, you tend to idealise the things you don't have anymore.
But the last couple of days, Christine changed. She said that suddenly she had received the firm conviction that things will get better from now on. Yes, she said that suddenly she was dead-certain of it and that she could feel it strongly within. And with her, also I started to get a grip on my feelings again. We're entitled to a bit of good news. Let's say that my book was already a start. Last week, our cooker finally arrived (be it with a small and nasty surprise, but nothing so serious that it would make us lose spirit). From now on, we should receive more good news. I'm so terribly convinced that we deserve it after all that we've been through, and especially Christine. If I don't deserve it, then at least she does. That our mortgage request is being accepted, for example. That would truly fill us with joy. Christine's worked her socks of at making a business plan for our B&B. Truly a great piece of work which must make the bank very impressed. We keep on fighting then. We must keep the faith...
No comments:
Post a Comment